Hunter Yee - The World's Youngest Blogger

...in fact, with the exception of some limited showing of puppies and ponies, there were no animals at all! Where are the elephants and seals everyone promised? The only cruelty here are the kids that have to sit through this 2+ hr "show", the guardians who endured screaming testy kids and those that were spit on by Fumagalli (the mischievous clown). Not all was a loss. The program was saved by the composed Cong Tian with his incredible balancing feats on a slim rope and the solo juggler of Kris Kremo. On the ride home, my daddy put on my beloved Barney which ended the night on a high note for us all.

This is my second time to "Charles" and this time, my rents decided to have my bday here of all places. What hideous crime(s) have I committed so far in my 2 years of existences that would provoke them to do this? It wasn’t the tacky carpet, broken games which ate our tokens, redeem feeder which cheated our tickets, cardboard pizza, or odd smells coming from the play area that bothered me - that's all expected. Nah, it was Charles himself. Right after we got in (no rsvp needed, most others were smart to avoid this place or bring in their own cake), everyone decided that it would be cute for me to take pictures with the creepy "Animatronic-Charles" which sings various tunes totally off sync, spasmodic and jerking like a crack addict. I was horrified at the prospect of having to get near this abominable robotic rat so I fought with every oz of my 23 lb body and even threaten to "mmhmm mmhmm" if push comes to shove.

After we attempted to digest the half frozen pizza, we were informed that Charles himself will be visiting - yikes! We were instructed to not touch Charles but he may touch you (my daddy told me that there are other places with the same rules but I needed to save up singles first), do not make sudden moves around Charles, do not yell at Charles and do not approach Charles unless he waves for you. After Charles's appalling performance, the rat pulled out a bag of tickets and started raining them at the ground like chicken feed while yelling, “Pick them up! Pick them up!” All the kids were on the ground trying to peel them off the sticky floor, some almost in tears. It was sad. When it was finally all over, we saved up the tickets and lined up to cash in for the grand prize which was not worth the gas money to carry it home. Gee, I wonder what is installed for me on my 3rd bday.